“I tried to think about my childhood days, but it was impossible, as I began getting flashbacks of the first time I slit a man’s throat. The scene kept surfacing in my memory like lightning on a dark rainy night, and each time it happened, I heard a sharp cry in my head that made my spine hurt. I went inside and sat on my bed facing the wall and tried to stop thinking, but I had a severe migraine that night…The headache became so severe that I couldn’t walk. I began to cry out loud. The night nurse was called. She gave me some sleeping tablets, but I still couldn’t fall asleep, even after my migraine stopped. I couldn’t face the nightmares I knew would come.”
P. 160
I chose this passage because it described the emotional, psychological and physical pain Ishmael suffered after his experience as a boy soldier. It had not occurred to me what the impact would be for him. This passage sums up many of the issues he was dealing with as he tried to adjust. The body sends messages when the system is under stress. The physical pain Ishmael suffered was very real. He had migraine headaches, shooting pains, and he could not walk. This was because of the emotional and psychological stress he was suffering. He could not retrieve memories of his childhood which was not that many years ago because his brain was on overload and would not allow it. The brain would not let him forget what all of his senses took in as a child soldier. It was clear that he was going to have to process all of the bad stuff he had been through. This was a terrible reaction to everything he experienced. The physical pain would go away but the other pain would stay with him.
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